This will come as no surprise to any of you who either have a toddler currently or have been through that phase with older kids, but man toddlers can be hilarious ;-)
Here's some gems that my 2.5 year old has come out with in the past few weeks.
Toddler the Modern Child (tweeted on 27th August)
We got Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD for review in the post this week. Kids watched some eps this arvo. 2 yo just said to me: "Mummy, can we write 'bout the Mickey Mouse on your glog?" #childrenoftheInternet
Toddler the Negotiator (tweeted on 26th August)
Toddler just got put into her cot because she threw a plastic toy in her 8 yo sister's face. Le sigh. Now she's calling out, "Mummeee! I wan' a Zhou Zhou pet an' 500 hunnerd dollars! An' some blackberry jam!" #whatthe
Toddler the Self-Aware
On being asked to help her sister pack up some puzzles, she replied "Nooooo!" "Why not?" demanded the exasperated 6-year-old. "Cos I being diff'cult!" shouts the toddler triumphantly.
Toddler the Toilet Trainer
To a random lady in the supermarket, "Hi! I am wearing my big girl undies! They 'ave Dora the 'Splorer on them! I show you, see ..." Then, "What is on YOUR undies?"
Toddler the Curious
"Mummy, why Daddy have no O-Os? [Her word for breastmilk]."
"Well, only women make O-Os, sweetheart. And Daddy's a man."
Frown. "He NOT a man, he a BOY!"
Then - "Will I make O-Os when I a big yady too?"
"Maybe, love. If you have babies."
Toddler the Heart-Melter
"Mummy, I love you. I love you very much. An' I missed you. I missed you sooooo much."
Me, accepting the hug and kisses happily, "I love you too, darling. But I was only gone one minute, you know." (I'd been out to the bin to put rubbish out).
She, sternly, "But you DID miss me, Mummy!"
Me, "Of course, love."
She, cuddling in, "I should think so!"
For all its frustrations and exhaustions, it's a phase of enormous delight, toddlerdom.