I have made a decision. It wasn't the easiest decision in the world, but I think it's the right one. I certainly feel a great sense of relief and peace about it, which is usually a sign that it's right for me (I felt the same on tendering my resignation from my last salaried job in November 2010, for instance).
Two weeks into term, C is now all settled into her kinder program, which runs 15 hours a week, across three half-day sessions and one 5-hour session. She is loving kinder intensely - adores her teachers, is making little friends, and is keen and eager to go every time. She's also doing very well with her Monday afternoon gymnastics class and her Wednesday dancing class.
However, her resistance to her remaining creche day (on Thursdays) is exactly the same as it's been since she first "went off" creche in September of last year or thereabouts. She never wants to go - ever. Sometimes she throws a meltdown about it, sometimes she's more quietly resistant. I never leave her in tears, but I often leave her looking somewhere between cranky and morose. And although her carers tell me she has good days when I go, and she's usually all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when I pick her up, I can't get over my feeling that this is no longer something that's good, or necessary, for her.
So I have decided to discontinue her creche place. From next week onwards, C will have her three half-days, and one longer session, at kinder, but other than that, she'll be with me. I will book client site visits on her long kinder day (Fridays), or if not then, on Tuesdays or Wednesdays when my partner can work at home (with notice) and take her to afternoon kinder.
Losing Thursdays as a consolidated work day means I will have to go back to regularly working at least half a day on Sundays, and often a full day, as well as my usual 6-8hr Saturdays. This has its drawbacks, of course, but after all, it's only 10 months more of juggling like this - I won't take on any January work, and next February, my baby C will be at school. (Which hardly seems possible!) I can make it work for this year, and I will. It is nice to think that she and I will have that extra time together in this last precious stretch before she's a schoolgirl.
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